Tacit Approval: Don’t you dare give it!
By Rosa Say
Tacit approval has come up in my coaching discussions with managers three times over the last week, and this will not be a strike-out for us! Let's play ball...
What is it?
Let's say you are the manager. Tacit approval happens when:
a) a direct-report of yours does something wrong
b) you become aware of it
c) that direct-report and/or others within your workplace are aware of both a) and b)
d) you do nothing about it and let it slide
As a result, you have given tacit approval for that wrong which was committed.
Your silent message to everyone else can be interpreted in several different ways, and none of them are good.
The possibilities?
You don't care.
You have bigger fish to fry, and small mistakes are okay.
That's a small mistake, so none of us need to care about it.
There is nothing to learn from that mistake anyway.
The work involved wasn't really important. In fact, if you stop doing it totally I won't care about that either.
It's okay to mess up. Just don't get caught.
If you catch wind of a wrong you'll look the other way, so we all can see how much we can get away with.
You're chicken. That employee intimidates you.
You play favorites. That employee is never corrected.
You settle for less: You're a shady deal-maker who will accept lesser-quality performance (you don't want to upset the apple cart, because 80% of what that direct-report does is more right than wrong).
You're green and lacking confidence, and you're avoiding the situation because you don't know what to do, or how to approach finding a solution.
You know what to do, but you're not going to bother. Training, coaching and mentoring isn't worth your attentions.
You're lazy or clueless, and hoping that no one else knows about it.
You think that direct-report knowing that you know is enough, and they will self-correct. (You are wrong.)
Now, I seriously doubt you really think any of those things (and if you do, get a different job, for management is not for you). However you better be aware that those thoughts running rampant through your workplace are doing even more damage ---for you can bet people are talking about it. Your reputation as a manager is getting shredded.
Is that what you really want?
I didn't think so.
Every discipline can be turned into a teachable moment.
It is as simple as a conversation which unemotionally states, “I know what happened. Let's talk about it.” Then listen, and let the other person lead where the conversation has to go. End the conversation with an agreement where they fix their own problem and you are not taking on any clean-up they can handle within their own sphere of influence, ability and capacity.
Look for that teachable moment and never, ever shy away from disciplinary discussions which need to happen. Alaka‘i managers enjoy the teaching and the coaching, and even the problem-solving. They enjoy creating a workplace environment where people can achieve their very best, and grow to BE their best, and there is absolutely no place in healthy workplace cultures for tacit approval.




Say “Alakaʻi”
November 12th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Even teachers learn from their students.
I must have worked for Managers who failed your course. Everything you say is experienced one way or another.
No sugar coat my dianosis, give me my medicine straight as is. People tend to be more lenient if one tells not the hole truth but the whole truth. No excuses.
November 13th, 2009 at 8:23 am
What we don't say or clarify, says a great deal about what we approve of.
Thanks,
Keahi
November 13th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Michael, I think most of us do prefer that we get feedback "straight as is" even though it can be uncomfortable, and it can be given in a respectful way though without the sugar-coating. Discipline is never easy for managers, and it takes practice, but to not to it is far worse - your phrase, "not a hole truth but the whole truth" is a new one I will have to remember!
Well said Keahi - you have such a talent for capturing my lengthy blog posts in one succinct sentence!
November 14th, 2009 at 9:01 am
I like to pun around.
November 28th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
[...] a recent article entitled Tacit Approval: Don’t you dare give it! Rosa wrote the following (I have taken the liberty to edit into a classroom setting): Tacit [...]