This is an “Almost Book Review” of Find your Strongest Life, What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently by Marcus Buckingham.
I’ve read it cover to cover, but I’m not finished with it enough to completely review it, and that’s the point of this post. Explanation coming up.
Product Details:
Amazon Sales Rank: #13013 in Books
Published on: 2009-09-29
Original language: English
Binding: Hardcover, 288 pages
Whether you are male or female, let’s talk story about the core premise of this book for a moment, okay? You can find your strongest life, and 2010 may be your golden opportunity.
Why should you bother? Let’s go straight for the Managing with Aloha connection (I like thinking that’s why you’re here, reading anything of what I have to say):
Key 7. Strengths Management:
Keys 1 through 6 have put a great foundation in place for your business to thrive within: Together they have created the best possible launching pad for your organizational culture. Now we turn to bigger investments made in each employee, business partner, and stakeholder involved, so you can truly say, “Our people are our biggest asset” —and mean it. Cooperation, connectivity and collaboration evolve to optimization and co-creation.
--- From The 9 Key Concepts of Managing with Aloha
As trumpeted on his book jacket, “Marcus Buckingham is the go-to consultant for people and organizations wanting to leverage their strengths” and in the process, make their weaknesses irrelevant. He continues to write books that are very useful to his readers IF, ---and this is a big ‘if’ ---you’ll go the distance with taking his advice and make his book a study, not just a passing read. You must be willing, and disciplined enough, to become your own work in progress (something you can do privately, don’t worry) while diligently following his coaching-in-a-book.
Unfortunately, many of us don’t do that. We finish a book, and the moment we reach the last word on the final page we feel just that - it’s finished. And so are we; we’re finished with it.
Sorry, not good enough.
Do savor your reading accomplishment and keep reaching for another book, and then another: Alaka‘i managers are readers for several reasons. However if you can’t break from that finished-without-study habit, it’s a bit hard to get from liking to loving this book (or any other non-fiction book for that matter, MWA is no different). You know what habits will do to you.
Buckingham seems fully aware of this challenge he has with us readers. Before you make it past page xiii (i.e. even before the Introduction) you can’t help but burn with a desire to prove his research wrong (valid data is part of his thing), and defy the sad statistics he shares about us women. I got good and mad. For example,
Ten Myths About the Lives of Women
Myth 1. As a result of having better education, better jobs, and better pay, women today are happier and more fulfilled than they were forty years ago.
Actually, the opposite is true. Surveys of more than 1.3 million men and women reveal that women today are less happy relative to where they were forty years ago, and relative to men.
Myth 2. Women become more engaged and fulfilled as they get older.
No, men do. According to a forty-year study of forty-six thousand men and women, women begin their lives more satisfied than men and then gradually become less satisfied with every aspect of their lives--- marriage, finances, things they own, even family.
Ouch.
Hopefully, you male managers don’t want these truths to be self-evident in the women within your workplace either.
I suspect I liked Find your Strongest Life to the degree I did, recommending it to a few people before I was halfway through it, because it was so much in alignment with Buckingham’s previous work, and it was sequential. It reinforced my prior strengths management studies with him. I've been a big Marcus Buckingham fan, have seen him speak and have met him, and I have read everything he has written. I study his books near obsessively, comforted by his research methods and trusting them, and I have enjoyed being witness to how his own studies and body of work has evolved. Therefore, it is highly likely that I expect more from him because I crave more, wanting to see what he will talk about next.
I felt Find Your Strongest Life was filled with good stuff, and I relished what it contained, but I was left wanting more without being quite sure of what I still wanted ---thus I continue to study it, and be my own work in progress. I’ve now read it through it completely once, and listened to it on audio, and my annotation/ journaling process comes next with a slower, second reading, syncing my progress with my Strong Week Plan and my Weekly Review. When that’s done, I will follow-up with a more in-depth review (as I do feel the book deserves).
Meanwhile, I want you to start reading it too. Then we can talk more about it together.
Still here guys? Hope so!
I decided to talk about this now, because I know many of you are doing your strategic planning for the coming year, and MWA Key 7, strengths management, is a GREAT goal for Alaka‘i managers to work on. Do it for you, and then do it for your team, being their empathetic coach. Enroll in Buckingham’s mission, for this is what all managers need to do!
“My mission is to help each person identify her strengths,
take them seriously, and offer them to the world.”
--- Marcus Buckingham
If each Alaka‘i manager were to think of his or her view of “the world” as their workplace, we’d make a significant difference for so many people. DO commit to working on your strengths in 2010.
First time through, Find Your Strongest Life is a quick read: My recommendation to others, would be to plan on reading Go Put Your Strengths to Work, 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance as a companion to Find Your Strongest Life if you are interested in it (women) or instead of it (men).
Product Details:
Amazon Sales Rank: #3001 in Books
Published on: 2007-03-06
Original language: English
Binding: Hardcover, 270 pages
If you want to develop a new study habit with non-fiction books, and you want to simultaneously work on your strengths as you do so, I have yet to find a self-coaching book better than Go Put Your Strengths to Work, 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance.
My copy of it is tabbed for on-going management training just as completely as my own Managing with Aloha:
School was never this much fun. (Sad, really.) Or perhaps, this important:
Business models will change in 2010: They must.
Thus, you will be working on new work models too:You must if your organizational culture is to be its healthiest.
So why not do your 2010 redesign in alignment with your own strengths? It’s a golden opportunity!
Strengths work, wherein you get better attuned to your own talents (and activities which energize you) is the easiest and best way to attain (or discover) your Ho‘ohana, especially if you are one who feels that “working on your passion” is too woo-woo and not pragmatic enough for you. In the process, you also get better attunded to your non-talents, and those activities which drain you: Strip them out of your business models forever, and have January 2010 be when you start.
Inc.com published a terrific article recently in honor of the 100th anniversary of Peter Drucker's birth:
The Wisdom of Peter Drucker from A to Z
Known widely as the father of management, Peter Drucker formulated many concepts about business that we now take for granted. On the 100th anniversary of his birth, we take a look at Drucker's contributions, from A to Z...
I encourage you to click over and read it: Author Leigh Buchanan has captured many highlights of this great man's contributions to what we now think of as both the art and science of management. (Find out why she chose Hitler for "H" and Schumpeter for "S." I want to see much more Schumpeter influence within our communities, that's for sure.)
As I read through the article it struck me that penning one's ABCs would be a great exercise for any would-be leader to tackle, for it would help clarify your Language of Intention:
What are the ABCs of what you believe in, love to study and add to, and never tire of thinking about?
What are the things you talk about repeatedly and purposely, not caring that others have heard you talk about them before? (they can never hear it enough as far as you're concerned.)
What do you stand for, and everyone knows it? They even mimic you, and you are happy they do!
What ideas are now gelling for you, and you would like to stand for them, putting your signature on them?
When others think of those concepts on your list, do they think of you, and remember your passionate energy?
When people try to explain those concepts, do they borrow your words, and repeat your stories?
Knowing I should first try what I ask you to do, I gave the exercise a shot, and this is what I came up with for me and my own Rosa Say Alaka‘i ABCs. X and Z are tough, and I'll need to think a bit harder about them. I also found I would need the letter S three times, for I refuse to choose among them! However it was a very interesting exercise for me, and it revealed those things I have let slip and need to revitalize, championing them more than I have been.
If you are seeking to lead an organization or a team right now, I would bet doing this exercise would help frame your thinking too: What will you be talking about in the next few weeks, and in the next year?
I invite you to share your Alaka‘i ABCs in the comments, for I would love to read them and get a better sense of what is important to you. As promised, here are mine. If any of them surprise you, I need to do a much better job in writing this blog!
It is June 11th: Today is King Kamehameha Day here in our Hawai‘i nei.
In my study of our Hawaiian values I have learned quite a bit about the Kamehameha monarchy and legacy though I had not originally set out to do so. The learning was simply unavoidable; it was also enthusiastically welcomed, for Kamehameha the Great (i.e. Kamehameha I) was an ali‘i [monarch] driven by the guiding light of his values. Distinctive within his dynasty of rule is how he associated value-alignment with the principles of Alaka‘i leadership in the society we now refer to as the “Hawai‘i of old.” He made this association for us in what he said, and in what he did:
Study Alaka‘i, the Hawaiian value of leadership, to any degree, and the name of Kamehameha is sure to be mentioned. Kamehameha I ruled the islands from 1810 to 1819, and nearly 2 centuries later the repeated telling of his reign has made him legendary. The stories about Kamehameha are colorful and plentiful. Perhaps the best known one is that which explains Māmalahoe Kānāwai, the Law of the Splintered Paddle, which appears in our state constitution even today.
When we make the decision to commit to the values we’ve articulated and deliberately chosen, we do so understanding our decision will make a contribution: It will shape the character of our community. King Kamehameha understood that the values of our ali‘i could, and would lead the way in this shaping; they are highly influential because they are evocative. Through our values we Ho‘o! [we make things happen.]
Our values move us to act.
Imagine being Ruled by Values
Imagine something with me.
Imagine that Hawai‘i is still a monarchy, and King Kamehameha still reins over our islands. Within this picture of “what if?” imagine that the challenges we face are just as they are now: The only difference is that Kamehameha is our king. Give your picture your personal context: Shape it with the specifics of the variables you think influence you most.
How do you suppose things would be?
The answer is that it would largely depend on the values from which Kamehameha rules us. Whether we like it or not, the same is true of our present government. Make no mistake:When we elect someone to office, we are choosing their values.
Values drive our behavior, and their pervasiveness (or their absence) will define our sense of place. Shared values will determine our conversations; and those conversations articulate the thoughts we once held privately within the confines of our own beliefs. We share them with others who will either dispute and negate them, or embrace and enroll in them with us.
As described by Dr. George Kanahele in his book Kū Kanaka, Stand Tall, A Search for Hawaiian Values (University of Hawai‘i Press, 1986), the values King Kamehameha the Great chose for his rule included:
Mālama, or Caring: The wise ali‘i was advised to take care of his lesser chiefs and commoners alike, “for together they are the strength of his rule.”
Ha‘aha‘a, or Humility: “Looking after the welfare of people arises from an underlying spirit of sensitivity and feeling for others that flows from humbleness rather than from a conviction of superiority.”
Kūpono, or Integrity: “Kūpono combines two words: kū in this case meaning in a state of, and pono, meaning rectitude, uprightness, or goodness … according to the Hawaiian way of thinking, there is little difference between being honest, upright, good, fair, or worthy.”
Na‘auao, or Intelligence and Wisdom: “Na‘auao combines na‘au, mind, and ao, or daylight. Literally it means the daylight mind, or more appropriately, the enlightened mind … No more fitting term can be found for the quality of mind that Hawaiian leaders, particularly the ali‘i, aspired to than that implicit in the ‘enlightened mind’.”
Koa, or Courage: “In a society whose chiefs were trained in the arts of fighting from childhood, and who proved their mettle on the battlefields, physical courage can be expected as a badge of leadership. But courage has two sides: the physical, and the nonphysical, that is, the emotional, moral, or spiritual. Opposition to a hero comes in many different forms.”
Which Values do we choose today?
Inspired by King Kamehameha’s legacy, these are values we can still choose today. We can make those choices and then commit to aligning our everyday actions to them; we can direct our creative energies toward the making of a future that will continue to uphold their complete integrity.
I’m quite sure that were King Kamehameha with us today he would feel those choices to be Pono [right and just] and to be quite obvious, for our values give us great clarity.
So as we honor Kamehameha this month, choose your values. Several Hawai‘i historians concur with Dr. George Kanahele, in believing that “no one surpasses Kamehameha the Great in leadership, historic achievement and lasting impact, or in having a transcendent vision for his people.” His vision? That the islands and the people of Hawai‘i be Lōkahi: Live in harmony, and remain united.
You might also feel that “no one surpasses Kamehameha the Great in leadership.” Perhaps not yet, but it is still possible. For you, your choices and your actions are still possible.
If you’ve read this far, or if you’ve read this blog before, you hunger for your own expression of Alaka‘i leadership, and you know that both management and leadership matter. So Nānā i ke kumu:Look to your source and your truth, and choose your values.
We just spoke of Ho‘o, and making things happen. As an Alaka‘i manager and leader, you will know this instinctively: We need to make our self-care happen too (our Mālama). The healthier we are, the more we have to give within our serving of others.
So I offer you another good, smart and very proactive Ho‘o-word to add to our ‘language of intention’ as Alaka‘i managers and leaders: Ho‘omaha.
To Ho‘omaha is to rest, to rejuvenate and replenish. It is the word I use for vacation time, because it reminds me to slow down, something which does not come all that naturally to me! Even when we travel, it is such a good idea to keep a day or two for coming back to normal and easing back in to ‘the business of life,’ don’t you think?
I will be vacationing with my family from today through May 23rd, and therefore, my next update here at Say “Alaka‘i” will be on Tuesday, May 26, day after the Memorial Day holiday. Comments will be turned off until I return, however I thought this would be a great time for us to update our Alaka‘i Library Index: Think about bringing ‘talking story’ to your team and your workplace while I’m gone, and use this reference for any new conversation triggers you need… this is post number 64 since we started last November.
Enjoy the month, and thank you so much for reading, a hui hou,
--- Rosa Say
Here is a Linked Title Index of what I have populated Say “Alaka‘i” with so far, for I’d promised to update it every so often as we go forward... we’ll still keep it in the Alaka‘i Library category (or better yet, bookmark it!)
Help me build this in the way that is most useful to you: Let me know if I miss something! If you’d like me to list a particular post with a keyword you prefer for the Definitions and Context Alpha Listing, say so in the comments or email me, and I’ll be happy to make the edit for you.
Intention: I had first created an Index for Say “Alaka‘i” at the end of 2008. What follows is cumulative, however if you're interested, that first posting talks a bit more about why I bother to index these posts at all: Alaka‘i Archive Love 2008. Web search is fantastic, however part of what we are doing here at Say “Alaka‘i” has to do with creating a consistent language of intention. If you are a creator of any kind of content at all, think about what you should be doing to easily access the fruits of your good work consistently too, especially when you will often share it with others as yourlanguage of Alaka‘i leadership. We continually say that leadership creates clarity and energy, and that management channels that energy in the best possible way: Think about easy-access to resources as more management savvy.
Chip & Dan Heath wrote a best selling book called Made to Stick in which they wrote about “why some ideas survive and others die.”
Their book set forth the theory that a person with a great idea could get it to stick in others’ minds – with stickiness defined as transforming the way people think and act – if the idea had six key qualities:
Simplicity
Unexpectedness
Concreteness
Credibility
Emotion
Story
Here is a shorthand explanation of the Made to Stick checklist done by Brand Autopsy (thus from a marketer’s perspective) if you would like to know a bit more about each one of those six qualities: Sticking with Make to Stick
Good stuff, and Made to Stick is an enjoyable read, a book I highly recommend as great ‘language of intention’ learning in your Say “Alaka‘i” library. Yet here’s the thing:
You can have ideas which fit the bill in all six ways and they can still die, buried in the land of “it was fascinating, but it never really gained a foothold here. We didn’t use it.”
The book the Heath brothers wrote is about how you communicate a great idea in a very compelling way, but an ultra sticky idea communicated exceptionally well takes you only halfway there – if even that far. You still have to implement it in a manner which will get you to claim that idea as your own, making it completely practical and useful to you.
To go the distance with great ideas, it’s not about the idea or even about the person communicating it. It’s about the people who need or want to do the transforming.
Let’s use training as an example, training on some new process that will help you say, increase productivity in your business. The idea can be wildly exciting, and it can be simple, unexpected, concrete, credible, emotional, and with a compelling story you can’t wait to build on. Better yet, it can be dirt cheap or completely free, and you can have all the resources you need to get it done immediately at your fingertips. You can already have the skill and the knowledge you need to implement it, and do it immediately. There are two more things you will need as mission critical to your successful adoption of the idea:
Individuals ready, able, and willing to groom a new habit for themselves which brings the idea into their lives every single day.
An organizational culture which creates the atmosphere of positive expectancy when change is introduced, and in which grooming that new habit is much easier than not grooming it. In fact, there are definite consequences when follow-up doesn’t happen.
If those two things are not in place, don’t bother with the training until they are.
When business owners hire me to give a workshop or deliver a keynote, the bold ones will ask, “What is it you do differently so that this is not another flavor of the month training for my people?”
My response is always the same, and often they don’t like it very much, but it’s one of those situations where the truth can hurt. I will respond saying, “It’s not about me, or about Managing with Aloha. I’m a pretty energetic speaker, and I can sell it in a way that might knock your socks off, but do you have the ‘purchasing power’ to buy into it? Will your people immediately follow-up, and will you take final responsibility for helping them do so?”
The good news is that this has become one of my silver linings in our current recession. When people can still invest in training delivered by someone outside their firm for the advantages that will deliver, they are willing to work harder at being my partner and making change happen. They are more impatient for results, and they are no longer willing to sit back with arms folded, waiting for me to dazzle them, and expecting me to ‘fix’ their people.
This is a silver lining which is making my work much more enjoyable and rewarding. ‘Made to stick’ will stick when you go the distance as an Alaka‘i manager and leader. Stickiness is not about me or any other hired gun or mesmerizing guru. It’s about you and your organizational culture, and everyone else within it.
Let’s talk story:
What simple practices can help you make something stick in your habit-building?
What was the most recent training you attended? Did it stick with you or not, and do you know why?
If your manager offered to give you some help in grooming a new habit within your organizational culture, would you know what to ask for?
Comment here, or via the tweet-conversation we have on Twitter @sayalakai.
Rosa Say is a workplace Aloha coach, founder of Say Leadership Coaching and the author of "Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawai'i's Universal Values to the Art of Business."
Manage and Lead: Learn to do both, and you can say and be Alaka'i (a leader), living and working within the Hawaiian value of management and leadership.
Product Details:
First time through, Find Your Strongest Life is a quick read: My recommendation to others, would be to plan on reading Go Put Your Strengths to Work, 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance as a companion to Find Your Strongest Life if you are interested in it (women) or instead of it (men).
